THE INFORMED PROVIDER, Hosted by Stockroom and Sponsored by Eros.com

FEB 21^ST, 2012
Mark your calendars and RSVP! Space is limited – make sure to RSVP today.

HOW TO RSVP:
Please visit http://www.eros-usa.com/theinformedproviderexpo and click RSVP!

On February 21^st, Eros.com is sponsoring an exclusive expo for Providers in Los Angeles and the surrounding areas. We have invited some of the industry’s top names to join us under one roof for an evening dedicated to improving your business & online brand.

WHAT:  The Informed Provider Expo

WHEN:  Tuesday, Feb 21^st 5-10pm

WHERE:  Stockroom Offices
                   2807 West Sunset Blvd
                   Los Angeles, CA 90026

Details:
We’ll kick things off at 5pm with introductions to the vendors at the Expo – and then open the floor up for you to meet each vendor individually. Eros will be doing a presentation on ‘Online Branding for Your Business’ where we will share some best practices for online advertising and branding. Mistress Serene Sin will be presenting information on being an entrepreneur & business leadership.

Greg (our VP), Winston (Director Operations) and I will be at the event available for any Provider to speak directly with us about their advertising on Eros.  We will also be giving away raffle prizes for advertising on Eros.com AND our hosts from Stockroom will also be providing coupons for discounted shopping at their store!

List of vendors:
Tracy Yapp – Photographer http://www.pureskinstudios.com 
Allure – Certified to Provide http://www.certifiedtoprovide.com
David Allen – Escort Website Design http://www.escortwebsitedesign.com
Davis – Sexquire http://www.sexquire.com
Serene Sin – http://www.serenesin.com/
SWOP Los Angeles http://www.swoplosangeles.org/
EXCLUSIVE!
Photographer Tracy Yapp is in Los Angeles on tour Feb 15^th – 22^nd and offering those attending this event a special deal! She is also setting up AT the expo and taking appointments for that day! Space is limited, so if you are interested – please contact her directly.

• Discounts: 10% off Cashmere and Diamond packages which is a ($195 and $240 dollar discount).
   This only qualifies when you Pre-book for the L.A tour at a Five Star luxury suite.
• Stockroom shoots: Offering one look shoots
• Pure Skin Flies you to Sunny South Florida when you book the DIAMOND package (4 looks)  
Contact Tracy directly at:

Website  http://www.pureskinstudios.com
tel: 954-965-3663 / 954-812-2016
email: info@pureskinstudios.com

NETWORKING MIXER
Let’s close the night out with a big cheers to YOU!

We will be hosting a mixer from 8-10pm for those attending the event allowing us to end the expo with a raised glass to success!

Beer, wine and light appetizers to be available.

Please RSVP today to get your name on the guest list!

HOW TO RSVP:
Please visit http://www.eros-usa.com/theinformedproviderexpo and click RSVP!

Find someone experienced in developing escort websites

Working with someone that understands your business (safety, security, privacy) will help ensure that discretion is maintained from beginning to end. Be wary of designers who correspond with you using an unprofessional email address (Yahoo, gmail, etc.).

Reputation is key

Many web masters claim to have experience in the escort industry. Call or email them and ask to see samples of their work and get client references. Take note on how long it takes to receive a response back. If they are too busy to get back to you within a reasonable amount of time, imagine how long it will take to implement any changes you might have. If you like the samples provided, contact the references and get the lowdown on working with that web master. You can also Google the web master’s name or business to find out additional information.

Own your intellectual property  

Your website, in effect, becomes your “brand” and represents you, your public image, and the services you provide. Intellectual Property (or IP) includes your domain name, content, images, and website code.  Your web master is considered “work for hire” and you own it. You should be able to do with it what you wish (except for re-selling it) as long as you have paid him for his work.

Maintain your privacy

Websites require three primary items: a domain name (e.g. example.com), a web server (or web host), and your website code. Your domain name and web host DO NOT have to be purchased from the same company. If you purchase your own domain name and web hosting, use extreme caution as the information you provide at time of purchase (excluding credit card details) is generally made available to the public and you can inadvertently expose information you want to keep private (ex. home address).  A discreet web master will purchase the domain name and hosting on behalf of his or her clients, keeping their information safe and secure and NOT associated with the website.

Get the features you want

Make a list of what you’ll expect your website to do for you before you start emailing web design companies. Below are some things to consider:

• What persona are you trying to project? Fun, flirty, VIP, sexy?
• What kind of clients are you trying to attract?
• Do you want to have your clients contact you through a form?
• Are there specific features that you’d like to have on your site (i.e. calendar, photo gallery, blog, etc.)?

Make a list of websites you like and note what you like about each. If you have a general idea of the kind of site you’re looking for and you have examples of what you like, it will help ensure that you get the type of website you desire. Keep in mind that animation and overproduced graphics don’t mean a thing if they overshadow the product—you!

Maintenance and upgrades

If you intend to update content regularly ask whether (and how much) the designer charges for that service and how long it takes for changes to be made. If you are good with technology and have time to spare, there are many do-it-yourself options for maintaining websites. One popular tool is CushyCMS.

Find someone that you feel comfortable with

You want to work with someone who does their best to answer your questions and who makes a point of listening to you. Your web master should keep in touch with you on a fairly regular basis during the building of your website. You don’t have to be best friends, but you do want someone you can trust and who will respond to your phone calls or emails in a timely manner. If you feel talked down to or taken advantage of then keep looking.

A great website will attract quality clientele and become an integral part of your business. Following these best practices for hiring a web master should provide you with a secure, professional website while at the same time protect your privacy. Best of luck in your search!

- David Allen, Escort Web Design
http://www.escortwebsitedesign.com 

As each advertising company and medium is unique, it is important to be able to determine how to make your choice in advertising work best for your business.  The best and most direct way of accomplishing this is to have a conversation with a representative of the company to help you customize your experience for your particular business and brand.  Without these interactions and guidance, you are often left to yourself to experiment and determine what types of exposure and placement work best for you.  As you can imagine, this can be a costly exercise.

Finding an advertising company with a strong customer service support staff to lean on can make a big difference in the return on your advertising investment.  Knowledgeable customer service representatives should be able to explain the different types of exposure available, and speak in depth about your advertising options and what products would work best to support your business.  If the advertising company that you employ isn’t available for consultations and discussions, then you are doing business with a silent partner, and one that is demonstrating an incredible lack of care with regards to the success of your investment.

Before choosing to invest in an advertising company, ask the questions below and determine how much of a partner that company can be to your business.  An accessible and engaged advertising company should be able to answer ‘yes’ to each of the following questions:

1. Are there well-trained, knowledgeable and courteous customer service representatives that are easily accessible by phone, email and chat?
2. Are these staff members available for consultation on what is the best exposure for your business (as opposed to only being available for Sales calls, etc.)?
3. Are supervisors and managers available when requested for escalating issues or solving problems?
4. Are customer service representatives PROACTIVE in reaching out to you to ensure you stay informed with regards to your advertising options?

Wording & Tone

Most of us write our ads to appeal to the largest customer base possible. Often this leads to vague language so as not to not exclude anyone, or it leads to long lists of services arranged like a take-out menu. Both approaches have their benefits but must be tempered and used sparingly in order to avoid appearing uneducated or cheap.

If you have a set of specialties, say so early on in your ad but don’t provide a huge list. A few short statements will create mystery and interest. Rather than listing each and every fetish you enjoy catering to, you could say, “Among my favorite activities are spankings, boot worship, bondage, but my interests certainly do not end there! Contact me for more information and I will have you tied and teased in no time!” In my experience this style of ad writing is not only sexier and more appealing, but it makes you more approachable and relatable.

Consider the tone of your ad. Think about how intimidating it is for most men to write you an email, let alone set up and keep an appointment. Doing what you can to be accessible will make it much easier. Many of our ads are written aggressively, immediately insulting the reader with phrases such as, “You will bow down to ME”, or “You are a worthless worm beneath MY feet”. These phrases are fine if you only want to attract humiliation fetishists, but they are completely ineffective when appealing to most other interests. Assert your Dominance by communicating gracefully and regally. Harsh language is not always needed.

Image & Impressions

How you present yourself visually is just as important and detailed as how you present yourself in writing. Attention to detail is key!

If you want the best possible results, be prepared to invest some money in a good photographer. There is no substitute for a professional grade camera and lighting and a photographer with a well-trained eye to bring it all together to highlight the best in you. You must consider everything in your photograph. What sort of message does your setting send? What props or equipment, if any, do you want to show? How much skin should you be showing? What should you be wearing? These are all important questions to ask when planning your photo shoot.

Too often I see beautiful women in well-taken photos that send a confusing message. You should strive for an elegant photo in which you look powerful, well-dressed, and comfortable. Looking mean, angry, or intense is fine, but include images that show you are enjoying yourself. A woman in sexy professional wear casually holding a paddle with a devious smile on her face is far sexier and more powerful than crude nudity and foul gestures. It will also attract a much higher order of clientele—the kind with education and good taste who usually have the means to become regulars.

Please note that just because an item of clothing is sold in a fetish store does not mean it is Domina appropriate. For example, strict posture collars, ballet heels, and constricting latex/rubber/leather items are for submissives only. Posting a photo of yourself in these types of items sends a confusing message. It suggests that you might not know what you are doing or much worse, that you might be easy to “flip”. For those of you who do not know, “flipping” a Domina is when a man books a scene with a Dominatrix with the intention to Dominate, or flip her. It is a rare thing, but it is a possibility you must be aware of, and it can be almost entirely prevented by building a better ad.

Contact Info & Legal Disclaimers

You have written a wonderfully articulate ad and filled it with gorgeous photos showing you to be the beautiful, controlling Domina that you are. All that is left is letting your clients know how they can reach you.

Having both a phone number and an email address where you can be reached is best. If you do not want to be called during certain hours of the day make sure to include that information.  Also include your website address and blog if you have one. If you do not have a blog, start one! It is an excellent way for clients to research you and get to know you better. Most men looking to hire Dominas want a very personal experience and your blog is a great way to lay the foundation for that. You don’t have to write in it every day, but a once a week update will let you build a steady following and can give you an outlet for all your thoughts and philosophies on BDSM.

Finally, at the very end of your ad I highly recommend including a legal disclaimer of some kind to protect you from projecting the image of offering illegal services. Legislation varies widely from place to place, and in many places is not legislated at all. It also makes it perfectly clear to whoever reads your ad that you are a serious professional and not an amateur looking to make a quick buck.

Following these tips will help you build the specific image you want and attract the kind of clientele that fits your personal style of Domination. Present yourself with dignity, grace, and pride and Dominate in good health! Please feel free to contact me, Mistress Rowynn at MistressRowynn@gmail.com.

Note: The author is not an Attorney. You should always seek legal advice from a trained professional.

From all of us at the Informed Provider – please be safe.

The transition from enjoying Female Dominance within the BDSM (Bondage and Disciple, Sadism and Masochism) realm and undertaking it as a career does not, however, occur without challenge. Of special importance, the novice Professional Mistress must learn to successfully promote herself within a somewhat competitive market. While geographic location determines just how competitive a particular market is, a successful career is based on knowing where and how to advertise her newly created business.

Where to Advertise as a Professional Dominant

There are many online directories available on which to advertise as a Professional Dominant. While some resources specialize in BDSM, others encompass a variety of adult services. Furthermore, some websites offer no-cost listings (usually requiring a reciprocal exchange of links), while others may charge a fee for their services. Additionally, there are marked differences in how information is listed. Some directories feature lengthy text and multiple photographs while others display a single line devoid of any images. 

The Professional Mistress should be discriminating in her choice of venues as it determines the type of clients she will attract. For instance, some directories do not allow for nudity to be depicted within its pages, while others heavily emphasize sexually explicit photographs. Adding your business name to an advertisement venue implicitly suggests your endorsement of the particular website, which in turn informs the submissive client about your tendencies as a Professional Dominant.

How to Advertise as a Professional Dominant

After deciding where to promote yourself as a Professional Mistress, be consistent in your manner of advertising. When you make changes to aspects of your business (i.e. contact information, new address), you must update your listings as well. As proper management of your online advertisement can be rather time-consuming, the Professional Dominant is best served by focusing on the quality of the listings as opposed to the quantity.

Another important decision for the beginning Professional Dominant includes the use of her image within different listings. Should she appear in fetish clothing? Would nudity serve her well in attracting submissive clients? Even the choice to disclose her identity (i.e. displaying her face) impacts how well her listings are received by the consumer of BDSM services. Besides using images effectively, the Professional Mistress must also devote proper attention to the content of the ad. In this manner, should the Professional Dominant extensively describe her skills to her submissive clients? Or is brevity more appealing to the senses of those interested in D/s services?

Additional relevant issues include finding a niche within the seemingly saturated BDSM market. Those who specialize in a particular D/s area (i.e. hypnosis) tend to perform better financially than Mistresses who lack such special skills. Ideally, the savvy Professional Dominant should expand her potential sources of income to include other means of revenue (i.e. membership-based website).

Other Considerations for the Professional Dominant

Another matter for the novice Professional Mistress is to decide where to hold sessions. You must choose whether to offer them within the walls of a dungeon (which may be private or commercial) or outside the D/s realm. Related to this decision is personal safety for both the Professional Mistress and the submissive client. Consider the issue of liability regarding those who place themselves in the believed-to-be competent hands of the Professional Dominant. I strongly advise against experimenting with matters of Domination. Instead I urge Mistresses lacking in experience to first gain the necessary skills before embracing Domination as a career.

Finally, I recall from my clinical training as a psychotherapist the emphasis on “burn out” as a risk within my former profession. The same job-related hazard may occur with Professional Domination due to the intense nature (both physically and psychologically) of the occupation. The constant stream of submissive clients, along with their accompanying emotional and social issues, may become a burden on the Professional Mistress’ shoulders. Engage with social networks that promote friendship among Female Dominants for additional support.   

The Lifestyle Dominant should be aware of these important issues prior to becoming a Professional Mistress. Establishing herself successfully within the BDSM industry is best accomplished if done so from the beginning of her career path. Professional Domination can be a most delightful and rewarding experience. Once your business enterprise as a Professional Mistress is well-grounded and functioning as planned, reaping the benefits of the required hard labor associated with first joining the BDSM industry is but a pleasure.

For me it was the empty chair at the table. Having buried both of my parents, particularly my mother, I couldn’t bear to face the holidays.  Even though I was surrounded by loving family members, I was miserable and wished I could sleep from November 20^th through January 2^nd. I felt my mother’s loss deeply as the holidays approached, and I struggled to cope. We were the family who went overboard for the holidays. Our house was probably bright enough for the astronauts to see from the moon! My mother would dress up like an elf, and we exchanged gifts every year without fail. Now my heart ached and the holidays were a painful reminder of what I had lost.

Finally, I took the initiative and sought the help of a grief therapist. There is no way my mother would want me to be miserable, especially around her favorite time of year. She would have had a fit! My therapist helped me realize I will never be without my mom. She is here, just not physically here, with me. I can look in the mirror, listen to myself talk, watch myself walk—and I see my mom.

In keeping with her spirit, I have also opened up my home to traveling providers. Unfortunately due to our profession, many of us are estranged from our loved ones. Maybe we have lost custody of our children and are forced to be alone during the holidays. If you cannot have the family you were born into, forge your own! Do not allow yourself to be stuck in a hotel room alone with too much free time on your hands. There are so many people who are lonely, need your help, and would love to spend time with you. Look for a shelter or an assisted living facility to share the holidays. Helping other people is therapeutic in itself.

The best self-help is to help and love those who desperately need love!

4 Ways To Deal With The Loss Of A Loved One

• Allow yourself the right to grieve.  Most people take three to five years to fully accept the loss of someone they loved. If someone dear to you died during this past year, remind yourself that it’s normal and healthy to feel like avoiding some of the events of the winter holidays.
• Plan ahead. Do you want to be alone or will being with those who love you ease the pain? Really think about it. Sometimes being alone makes the aloneness much too hard to bear. Sometimes being in a crowd is overwhelming. Only you know what is best for you. Talk to key family members and ask them to support you in whichever decision you make.
• Honor your loved one by sharing stories. Many people believe the way to help someone in grief is to avoid talking about the person who has passed. Most of the time, they are mistaken. When we stop talking about someone is when they are really lost to the family.  It’s important to remember the good times, to laugh about funny things they did or said, and to acknowledge that he or she is missed.
• Do things a little differently. For some people, doing the usual traditions and celebrations makes the loved one’s absence all the more painful. Think about whether doing things a bit differently or going to a different place would be helpful.

Taking Care of Yourself During The Holidays

If the holidays bring on some unwanted emotions, you’re not alone.  Here are some tips:

• Recognize the signs of depression and seek help. Go to www.helpguide.org.
• Keep up with your regular exercise routine and stick to healthy, nutritious meals.
• Get plenty of sleep each night.
• Take time for yourself and do something fun each day.
• Make sure your holiday goals are realistic.
• Volunteer at an animal shelter or visit a retirement home.
• Enjoy the season with people who are supportive.

Quick Facts About Depression

• Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year.
• Everyone will at some time in their life be affected by depression — their own or someone else’s.
• 30% of women are depressed. Men’s figures were previously thought to be half that of women, but new estimates are higher.
• 54% of people believe depression is a personal weakness.
• 41% of depressed women are too embarrassed to seek help.
• 80% of depressed people are not currently having any treatment.
• 92% of depressed African-American males do not seek treatment.
• 15% of depressed people will commit suicide.
• Depression will be the second largest killer after heart disease by 2020 — and studies show depression is a contributory factor to fatal coronary disease.

Additional Resources

• National Hopeline Network 1-800-784-2433 (1-800-SUICIDE) www.hopeline.com.
• For depression check out www.helpguide.org.
• Uplift Program at www.upliftprogram.com.
• Compassionate Friends: (877) 969-0010 (Support for those dealing with death of a child).
• For help with grief go to After Loss: (800) 423-8811.
• Find a way to help others!  Check out Leo Babauta’s list of 25 ways to bring joy to people. http://zenhabits.net/25-ways-to-help-a-fellow-human-being-today/.
• Get more ideas to help other people at http://www.helpothers.org/ideas.php.

Getting certified in our area of expertise can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. With a little research, you will find seminars and training courses offered all over the country by people who have been practicing BDSM for the better part of their adult lives. InLas Vegas, we have courses offered at The Erotic Heritage Museum ranging from the rope bondage classes offered by Willow & Mateo, to theSinCityD/s mentorship program, and even the educational series offered by me, “Ask A Mistress LIVE!”.  Enrolling in these types of programs will add to your set of skills and assure your clients that you know what you are doing.  

Another area for a Domina to consider is specializing in a BDSM field. No Domina can be proficient in every aspect of fetishism and BDSM, so it is important to find your niche.  This way you can ensure a quality scene and leave clients begging for more.  And if you are not familiar with some aspect of your field, consider referring your client to someone who is proficient in that area.  For example, I specialize in corporal punishment, sensory deprivation, sensation play, and bondage. If a potential client comes to me asking for strong humiliation play I’m at a loss. But if I can refer that client to another Domina with expertise in that particular area, then I will have provided her with business and avoided a scene—which at best—would have been only so-so for the client.

Just as doctors refer patients to other doctors, Dominas should make it common practice in our industry to refer clients to one another.  This shows support for our expertise and strengthens our community. When we simply turn a client away and make no attempt to direct them to another professional, we are directing clients and their income away from our community, and that hurts everyone.  With a little effort from each of us we could become a network of strong, educated women all working in concert to benefit our clients and our businesses.

Be a well-trained Dominatrix and take advantage of what the lifestyle community has to offer.  With expert training and effective networking, we can build confidence in our profession and among ourselves. We will have an industry where each of us is valued for her specific skills and create a system where we conduct the sessions we want, give the clients the scenes they need, and make everyone happier!

If you have any questions or comments, or suggestions for future article topics, please feel free to contact me, Mistress Rowynn, at MistressRowynn@gmail.com.

This answer is simple:  Yes!  But there is a catch…

Buying premium exposure is a great way to ensure your ad gets in front of a wider range of viewers.  On sites where you are competing with many advertisers, well-targeted premium exposure (meaning it is being exposed to your primary customer base) can help offset the fact that sometimes your ad might be buried beneath many others on the site.  No matter how good the design of a website is, it is only possible to display a limited number of listings “above the fold” (this is the area of a website you can see without having to scroll down).  Being above the fold is important because many viewers just won’t scroll down the page!  By purchasing premium placement on a site, you are ensuring that your ad is always above the fold and available to be seen.    

But remember, we said there’s a catch!  Premium exposure will only drive people to look at your ad; your ad content has to close the deal.  If your content is old, inaccurate, or your premium exposure is targeted towards the wrong viewers (i.e. a BBW advertiser buying premium exposure in the petite category), your investment in that premium exposure will be a waste.  So before you invest in additional exposure for your ad, make sure you are keeping your basic ad content fresh and captivating. If your content is already up-to-date and fresh, start by asking the sales representative of your adult directory about the different types of exposure and the rates of return.  A knowledgeable sales rep should be able to give you specifics on how different areas of the site perform and which area would be most appropriate for your business!

As an independent business owner how you conduct business over the phone is a reflection of your business.  Answering the phone in a casual manner saying, “Yeah, who’s this?” or even worse, not answering calls at all, may leave clients feeling turned off.  What are your expectations and what are your potential clients’ expectations?  First impressions matter!

Let’s run through some tips and good practices that will immediately make your business worthy of the VIP clientele to whom you’re marketing.   Remember, as an independent business owner your phone is your primary point of contact. 

Voicemail: Ensure that you have a greeting that is informative and welcoming.  Always set an expectation of when you will return their call.  If possible include your email address, website, and information on how to access your online screening form if you have one.   Convey details that answer commonly asked questions such as incall/outcall, availability, and your rates.  Avoid playing music in the background, be professional in your tone, and stay away from slang terms: “You feel me?”  We’re off to a great start!

Properly Answering Your Business Line:  In business I’ve been taught to always state my name and what department the caller has reached.  In your case it’s usually enough to state your name and thank them for the call.  This serves a dual purpose: first, your name tells the caller they reached the correct number and not the old cat lady down the street; second, thanking them for calling lets them know they called a professional.  “This is Sadie, thanks for calling.”

Let it Roll:  Let the call roll to voicemail if you’re not in an appropriate setting or not prepared to take the call.  If you can’t talk because you are at the grocery store or you are somewhere noisy, it’s best not to answer the call.  No one wants to hear the dog barking or kids screaming when on the phone.  Wait until you’ve reached a quiet spot where you can dedicate all of your attention to your client.  Keep in mind that you’re kind of a mobile office, so always have a scratch pad and pen handy.

Returning Calls: If possible, try to return everyone’s call even if it’s just to say, “I’m all booked, but I appreciate the call.”  This shows professionalism and provides a level of personal service, which is always smart business.  Please note, I’m not saying call back the heavy breather that loaded up your voicemail with a six minute message, but do your best to get back to every legitimate call.

Establish Phone Hours: Every business has a set amount of hours they will commit to being available on the phone.  As a business owner you need to consider what your comfort level is and then set that expectation.  Would you be OK taking a call at 6am or maybe after midnight?    It’s perfectly reasonable to say, “I only accept calls during the hours of 9am to 9pm Monday through Saturday.”  It’s up to you, but be sure that you communicate this important information on your ad placements, websites, and voicemail.

Following these simple yet effective guidelines will ensure that you stand apart from the rest.  Your business line is your lifeline.  By using a few basic tips, you can offer a better quality service which, in turn, increases business!  Don’t underestimate the laws of attraction!  What you project will ultimately be what you attract.  Stay tuned for more on this topic and others.  Is that your phone ringing?